Some Humor at Easy Desk Software

Have you tried our glossary?

We once received a fax with a note on the bottom of it to fax the document back to the sender when we were finished with it, because he needed to keep it for his records.

Customer: "I'd like to order some of your software, please."
Tech Support: "Certainly sir, what software title did you wish to order?"
Customer: "Well first I want to know will they be compatible with
my new mouse pad?"

Tech Support: "All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows, because of the icons, I'm a Protestant,and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to...
Customer: "I don't care about any Industry Terms. I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well...why don't you click on the little picture of a file cabinet...is little picture OK?"
c [click]

Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game."
Tech Support: "All right, hit Control-Alt- Delete to reboot."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash, it crashed."
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before. I crashed my spaceship and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "OK! Click on the Menu Bar Item File, then New Game."
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"

Customer: "I am using one of your programs to backup my system files. But I wanted to backup all my programs. Can you tell me how to backup the Internet to my diskette?"
Tech Support: "Do you have the latest version of the Internet installed?"
Customer: "How can I tell?"

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write click on my desktop, so I wrote click on my desk."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."
Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'Start' button displayed?"
Customer: "Wow ! How can you see my screen from there?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed A:\SETUP."
Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer: "It says PC manufacturer Restore and Recovery disk."
Tech Support: "OK, take that one out and insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "What?"
Tech Support: "Take out the disk that is in the drive and insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer: "I can't, I do not have one"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No . . . ."

One woman called Dell's toll-free line to ask how to install the batteries in her laptop. When told that the directions were on the first page of the manual the woman replied angrily,"I just paid $2,000 for this damn thing, and I'm not going to read the book."

Customer: "Uhh...I need help starting up my new PC."
Tech Support: "What exactly is the problem?"
Customer: "I can't open the box."
Tech Support: "The computer case?"
Customer: "No the box that it came in."
Tech Support: "Well, I'd remove the tape holding the box closed and go from there."
Customer: "Uhhhh...ok, thanks..."

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